Perfectionism is something we all experience and it can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can motivate us to strive for excellence and achieve great things. On the other hand, it can cause us to feel constantly stressed, overwhelmed, and like we can never measure up. For moms who are perfectionists, this pressure can feel even more intense. And the reminders to be “perfect” pop up often -- our own expectations, comparison to “the best” in others, even constant social media hacks and lists to do everything better.
However, learning to let go of control can help alleviate some of this perfectionist stress and lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
Here are some tips for perfectionist moms who want to let go of control and experience more peace:
Recognize that you cannot control everything Perfectionists often believe that if they just work hard enough, they can control everything in their lives. However, this is simply not true. There are always going to be things that are outside of your control, such as your children's behavior, the weather, or unexpected events. Instead of trying to control everything, focus on what you can control: your own thoughts, feelings, and actions/reactions.
Practice mindfulness Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It can be a powerful tool for perfectionist moms who are constantly worrying about the future or obsessing over the past. By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to let go of control and simply be present in the moment. This can help reduce stress and increase feelings of peace and contentment. It also leads to a clearer mind so that you know the best way to handle the present moment.
Let go of the need for perfection Perfectionism is often driven by the belief that anything less than perfection is unacceptable. However, this mindset can be incredibly damaging and lead to constant stress and anxiety and self criticism. Instead of striving for perfection, aim for excellence, or even “good enough for now” if the situation fits. Recognize that mistakes are a natural part of life and that they can be valuable learning experiences. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and to be imperfect.
Ask for help Perfectionists often believe that they should be able to handle everything on their own. However, this is simply not realistic. As a mom, you have a lot on your plate, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. Whether it's asking your spouse or children to take over some of the household tasks and responsibilities, hiring a babysitter for a few hours so you can have some time to yourself, or even prioritizing time to get professional help or counseling, don't be afraid to reach out for support.
Practice self-care Self-care is essential for everyone, but it's especially important for perfectionist moms who are constantly giving to others. Make sure to prioritize self-care activities that help you relax and recharge, such as taking a bath, going for a walk, or reading a book. Remember that self-care is not selfish – it's necessary for your well-being. You cannot pour from a cup that is empty -- Fill yours up!
Celebrate your successes Perfectionists often focus so much on what they haven't accomplished that they forget to celebrate their successes. Make a conscious effort to recognize and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. This can help boost your self-esteem and increase feelings of confidence and happiness. It’s empowering, too!
Letting go of control can be a challenging and slow process, especially for perfectionist moms who are used to feeling in control of everything. However, by practicing mindfulness, letting go of the need for perfection, asking for help, prioritizing self-care, and celebrating your successes, you can learn to let go of control and embrace a more peaceful and fulfilling life. Remember, you don't have to be perfect – you just have to be you.
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