Healing Power of Forgiveness: Nurturing Mind, Body, and Spirit

We have heard a lot about forgiveness in the media these past few weeks, and it has caused me to ponder: with such deep hurt, how does one reach such a choice to forgive, what happens after, and on a personal level, what is the effect of forgiving if I embrace it more in my own life? When we are hurt so deeply and have such raw emotion, forgiving can feel like an impossible choice and mindset and there are ways that we can almost become enslaved by that hurt. Even “small” misunderstandings and misses in communication and intentions can often stay with us and send us spiraling.

Yet, seeing public real-life examples recently of forgiveness is inspiring and an invitation to us all. So much of our self yearns for forgiveness, freedom, and connection and there’s a discomfort in holding on to the hurts and wounds, both big and small. I wanted to better understand and share how forgiveness and the choice and action of it really can impact us and our healing in all areas of our self.

Forgiveness truly is a gift - one of the most powerful you can give yourself, and one that has an impact on those around you. It’s not always easy or expected, especially when the hurt runs deep — but the choice to forgive can create profound change in your life and the lives of others.  I often see how unprocessed hurt can weigh heavily on the mind, emotions, body, relationships, and even spiritual well-being and faith life of the women and families I work with. It quite literally haunts us all during different times of our life, impacting every area of our life. Yet it is important to remember (so as not to cause us to block it entirely), learning to forgive doesn’t mean condoning hurtful behavior or forgetting what happened — it means releasing yourself from the grip of pain so you can move forward with greater freedom and intention.

Let’s explore how forgiveness can transform every part of you:

Forgiveness Calms the Mind

When we hold onto anger or resentment, our thoughts can become stuck on a loop — replaying the situation, thinking about what we wish we had said, or imagining how things could have gone differently. This mental replay can fuel anxiety, resentment and even affect sleep (hello, 3am wake up call!).

Practicing forgiveness helps quiet this mental noise and the negative cycling of “what ifs”. Research shows that people who choose to forgive experience lower stress levels, improved focus, and a clearer mind. By releasing the mental “grip” on the past, you free up mental space for creativity, problem-solving, and joy in the present moment.

Forgiveness Heals Emotions

Unforgiveness often breeds bitterness, sadness, or simmering anger — emotions that can build up over time and spill into other areas of life and relationships.  I remember a time when I was so angry at an individual, unable to confront them about it, and  thus was fuming about it all day long. Later, as my kids came into the house from school, rushed to the pantry for a snack, and in their haste bumped over each other in the pantry, I literally exploded, throwing the apple that I was holding down on the floor (not an action that was usual nor am I proud of). My hurt, bitterness, and anger for that individual spilled out on my kiddos that were not even involved in the situation (or my negative emotions). Forgiveness allows you to identify and process these emotions in a healthy way (not by throwing an apple), acknowledging the hurt and its source, but refusing to let it define and control you. (sidenote: the incident has now humorously become known as “the apple incident” and is a great learning conversation in our family. Mercy and forgiveness are real!).

Emotionally, forgiveness is empowering. It shifts us from being a passive recipient and victim of hurt to an active participant in our own healing and connection with others. Women often report a sense of peace, strength, and even compassion after forgiving — for themselves and others.

Forgiveness Strengthens Relationships

Relationships are complicated, whether with family, friends, or even strangers. Conflict is inevitable, but unforgiveness can create a wall between you and others, making intimacy and trust difficult. I remember a time that I was upset with one family member but found myself holding the entire group at a distance to protect myself and not have to reexamine the hurt. The other family members were not even involved but were greatly affected by my unforgiveness.

When we begin to practice forgiveness, we create room for ourself to become aware of intention, our own role, healthy vs unhelpful boundaries, and hopefully deeper connection and understanding. Even when reconciliation isn’t possible, forgiving can help us let go of resentment and approach other relationships with more openness and trust. It gives back agency and power.

Forgiveness Supports Physical Health

Emotional pain doesn’t just live in the mind — it shows up in the body. Chronic stress from holding onto anger can raise blood pressure, weaken the immune system, and even contribute to headaches, fatigue, muscle tightness, and digestive issues.

Studies have found that forgiveness is linked to lower heart rate, reduced blood pressure, and even better sleep. When we let go of grudges, we allow our body to shift from “fight-or-flight” mode into a calmer, more restorative state.

Forgiveness Nurtures the Spirit

On a deeper level, forgiveness is a spiritual choice, often of surrender. It invites us to rise above the hurt and offer love over hate; compassion and understanding over retaliation and righteousness. For many situations, it helps to remember that forgiveness is an acknowledgment that we are all imperfect and worthy of grace – our own forgiveness given to others can be an offering and an acceptance of our own identity.

Whether through prayer, meditation, or surrendering, forgiveness is a way of choosing peace, hope, and love in a quite literal sense. It reminds us that our identity is not defined by the harm done to us, but by our ability to heal and grow and offer that to others.

Practical Ways to Begin Forgiving

Forgiveness is hard and takes time. Remind yourself that it is a  process, not a one-time event. Here are some gentle steps to help you begin:

 Journal your feelings — write out what happened, what it cost you, how it is continuing to affect you, and what you want to release.

Practice empathy — try to see the humanness in the other person, even if you don’t agree with their choices.

Set healthy boundaries — forgiveness doesn’t mean tolerating harm. Set boundaries to continue to keep yourself safe.

Seek support — talk with a trusted friend, family member, therapist, or spiritual director. They can help you gain new perspective and develop a help develop a plan of implementing forgiveness.

Give yourself time — forgiveness is often a gradual journey. Each step helps in the healing process, so don’t’ rush it or feel under pressure.

Forgiveness doesn’t erase the past, but it rewrites our future. It allows us to step forward with a clearer and calmer mind, a freer heart, renewed strength, and stronger relationships. Whether we are forgiving someone else or ourself, remember — this is an act of self-care that ripples through our mind, emotions, body, relationships, and spirit.