Great job! We have made it through one week – phew!! It’s been a week of uncertainty, fear and chaos, and on top of it we’re “quarantined” under one roof with the same people for the foreseeable future. Whether you’re locking yourself in a room to telecommute without disturbance, temporarily without employment, or on full-time “everything” duty, this all is challenging and a recipe for increasing stress! Maybe now is a great time to stop and breathe for a moment. If you, like me, need some reminders of what will sustain strength, endurance, and well-being, during the next few weeks, here are a few tips:
Prayer and Meditation: There is a bigger plan happening here -- God is active and alive in every moment and can make all things new. Each day when I intentionally set aside time to talk and listen to God and then make a plan to act on His guidance, my day goes significantly better. Meditation allows you the space to breathe, calm, and relax, and when done on a regular basis, it strengthens brain connections making calm and patient reactions happen more naturally and consistently. 10 minutes a day of sitting with God will change your life and the lives of those around you.
Ideas: Read the scripture of the day; Try out Lectio Divina method of prayer; Stations of the cross online reflections.
“The stillness of prayer is the most essential condition for fruitful action.”
St. Gianna Beretta Molla
Nutrition: By default, when my kids are home all the time, I eat quickly and end up eating what they demand (not always the healthiest choices). When I do this on a regular basis, I feel drained and lack the energy I usually have when I’m eating well. Planning out and sticking to a healthy and well-balanced nutritional plan gives you the energy you need.
Ideas: Throw greens into a morning smoothie; Prepare healthy snacks the night before so they are ready to go when people are hungry; Add in mood-boosting foods such as probiotics, leafy greens, Omega-3 fatty acids.
“Fasting of the body is food for the soul.” St. John Chrysostom
Exercise: Exercise releases endorphins and serotonin that improves your mood and reduces stress, depression, and anxiety. Physical movement helps with self-regulation (for kids AND adults). This is a crucial element of wellness, but unfortunately one that often gets crowded out. Whether it be strengthening/stretching routines or cardiovascular workouts such as running/walking/biking, exercise is absolutely necessary for helpful self care and should be included often.
Ideas: Hike at one of our amazing MetroParks; Do GoNoodle with your kids for 30 minutes (it’s amazing the sweat and laughter that happens!); Try out Pietra Fitness (let me know and I’ll send you a free 30 min online workout!).
“Take care of your health, that it may serve you to serve God.” St. Francis de Sales
Sleep: It’s very easy to get in the habit of using the time when the kids are sleeping as “me” time, thus leading me NOT to sleep. But a few days of this and I and everyone around me notice the result– I’m crabby! Adequate sleep is important to brain health and mental/emotional well-being. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep for you – waking up not exhausted and feeling refreshed (at least in the first hour of waking up).
Ideas: Turn off screens 1 hr before bedtime; Chamomile tea; Calming prayer and meditation before bedtime.
“Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath, and a glass of wine.” St. Thomas Aquinas
Get outside: Fresh air and sunshine can literally change my outlook on life in 5 minutes – research shows that green space, sunshine, and increased fresh air increases positive mood states, decreases stress and improves sleep.
Ideas: Walk outside during a conference call; Read a book in the sunshine; Nature scavenger hunt with the kids (keep it simple!).
“Let everything in creation draw you to God. Refresh your mind with some innocent recreation and needful rest, if it were only to saunter through the garden or the fields, listening to the sermon preached by the flowers, the trees, the meadows, the sun, the sky, and the whole universe.” St. Paul
Make social connection: Isolation and “social distance” can be detrimental to our well-being. I’m having plenty of social connection with people under the age of 11, but seem to be lacking otherwise. Make sure you’re talking to friends and relatives outside of your household. We need to vent, laugh, understand that we are NOT alone.
Ideas: Zoom meetings with friends; Video Chat; Reach out to neighbors that may not have family at home.
“God sends us friends to be our firm support in the whirlpool of struggle. In the company of friends we will find strength to attain our sublime ideal.” St. Maximillian Kolbe
Limit Media and social media: When I watch the news on this crisis too much and scroll through social media posts too often, I feel drained, overly self-critical, and anxious. I don’t think I’m alone in this reaction – limiting media and social media is caring for yourself and your mental and emotional health.
Ideas: Have a journal handy so that you can write your thoughts down; Turn off the computer/tablet/phone during scheduled times; Write and send a card to someone.
“It isn’t good to let our thoughts disturb us or worry us at all.” St. Teresa of Ávila
Practice gratefulness and generosity: It’s really easy to get stuck on what I “don’t have” or what I “can’t do” right now, which is not always productive. Encouraging myself and my children to identify one thing we’re grateful for each day and then passing that on to someone else is helpful. If my 10yo says she is grateful to have a loving family today, she can then pass it forward by making a card for someone who maybe cannot be with family due to social isolation. The bonus is that it changes our mindset: research shows that with the practice of gratefulness we’re more apt to see the positive during the next day and think of and serve others, not just ourselves.
Ideas: During a mealtime, have everyone name 1 point of gratefulness and how they can pass that along; Write down 3 moments of blessings from the day at nighttime.
“The secret of happiness is to live moment by moment and to thank God for all that He, in His goodness, sends to us day after day.” St. Gianna Molla
Take scheduled breaks/Ask for help: Sometimes there are times that you really need to focus on yourself, though. Make sure you take time to notice when you need it and to do something that rejuvenates you. There are definitely times that I feel like I’m losing it – that is when I need to accept my need, ask for help (even if it is just asking my husband to take over childcare) and take whatever break may help in that moment.
Ideas: Blare YOUR music; Everyone takes a 10 minute time-out every hour; Chocolate
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
Finally, Be gentle with yourself and your expectations. This time offers lots of opportunity for sure. Is this a perfect time to potty train my 2yo since we’re stuck at home? Yes. Is this a perfect time to teach my kids to sew and do amazing Pinterest crafts? Yes. Am I going to do any of those? Nope. Keeping myself, my husband and each of my children generally mentally, physically, and spiritually healthy is the priority. If those other things fit in here and there, great. But if I set my expectations to accomplish those things and to be “perfect” (during this already stressful time), then I am only setting myself up for anxiety, disappointment and failure. Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing great.
Ideas: Remind yourself that it’s “GOOD ENOUGH” (whatever “it” is that you’re doing); Remind yourself that God is smiling at you and loving you like crazy.
“Have patience with all things, but first with yourself. Never confuse your mistakes with your value as a human being. You are a perfectly valuable, creative, worthwhile person simply because you exist. And no amount of triumphs or tribulations can ever change that.” St. Francis de Sales
Am I doing all of these things every day? No way, that’s not reality. I do notice, though, that when I prioritize one or two of the tips each day, I feel better body, mind, and spirit.It’s like when people train for a marathon: they have a plan that they follow closely so as to have the strength and endurance they need. It’s okay if they skip a workout once or twice, but to do so consistently would greatly impact their ability to succeed. It’s similar in these elements of self-care. We need endurance and strength and wellness to be able to manage the needs of ourselves and our families on this marathon (not a sprint) during COVID-19.Yes, it is okay and normal to miss or skip part of our self-care plan here and there, but to do so often can really leave us feeling stressed and unwell. Pick one or two a day to prioritize and put those in your day. You will notice a difference and feel stronger and healthier for yourself, your family, and your God body, mind and spirit.
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